


Irreplacement

by Rossinante



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: !!!, M/M, Nothing explicit, Post-Episode: s05e03 The Replacement, happy bob15th, just me havin fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 21:15:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8117830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rossinante/pseuds/Rossinante
Summary: dick ponders things in the night....
....in celebration of band of brothers 15th anniversary!





	

The mark is the size of an English penny. No, smaller; it's the size of a thumbtack. Dick can barely make it out on Lew's forehead, although that could be due to the near pitch dark they're sleeping in. Well, Lew is the one sleeping. Dick is sitting in the dirt, knees drawn up and rifle against his thigh, wide awake and trying to concentrate on anything but the bruise. 

He can still feel the panic that had flared in his chest when he'd watched his friend fall to the ground- a cold douse of horror, that left a sick feeling in its wake. Then he had lifted Lew up and seen his perfect, dazed, wholly intact face- and the fear dissolved into shock. 

'Quit lookin' at me like that' 

He isn't sure what his face must have shown, but he'd quickly hidden it and crawled against the side of the car beside Lew. He pretended not to see Lew's shaking hands or his own. 

The rest of that day had been filled with a subdued platoon of soldiers, short of Bull and many other fine men. Lew had been quite all evening, somberly gazing off somewhere and looking startled whenever someone spoke to him. 

Now thought Lew is curled into the side of the hill across from Dick, arms folder over his chest and head lolling onto his shoulder. He looks a little funny, and Dick can't help smiling, but his eyes are drawn to the darker mark on his forehead and his smile falls away. 

Lew stirs, a small noise escaping his lips as he shifts over, and his knees fall against Dicks. 

It bothers him how scared he had felt, to see Lew on the ground. Any of his men dying would be sad, Dick would mourn them but stoically continue to lead and support his men.

They always told him not to count the losses but it's all he can do in the dark with nothing to take his mind off of it. And now, he could've been counting Lew among them and that... is more painful that any of the names on the list in the back of his mind. It's hard to see how to carry on without him by his side. 

Dick looks over the incline of the hill, at the fiery red horizon where the town is burning. That day they watched the streets shimmer with orange pride, flag flying in the wind to celebrate their liberation and their rights. Women had kissed him, children had smiled at him, and fathers and men had shaken his hand. Now, Dick watches them die from the safety of his dirt and grass bed- and the blaze of orange pride has become the fury of war. 

When he pulls his eyes from the glow, Lew is awake watching him with a sleep-heavy gaze. "Stop thinking about it." He whispers hoarsely. 

"Easier said than done." Dick replies, fumbling with a loose thread on the hem of his sleeve. As the night' cold set in, his hands have retreated further into the protection of his jacket until only his numb fingers peek out. He's never done well in the cold. 

"It's been a helluva day, Dick, get some sleep. Please." Lew mutters, eyes falling closed. Dick thinks he's fallen asleep again, but then Lew sighs and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bent packet of cigarettes. 

"Why do you believe in God?" Lew asks as he lights a cigarette and inhales desperately. Dick has found Lew often oscillates between two states of being; bitter drunk, and bitter intellectual- often accompanied with nihilism. 

"It's how I was raise, Nix. It's just part of me." Dick replies. It's a lazy answer, he can't sleep but he's too tired to for philosophical debate. The cigarette hangs loosely from Lew's mouth as he contemplates the answer by staring into the sky, balanced on his bottom lip that gives him a perpetual pout. 

"I was raised to be my father." Lew finally says. 

"You're not." Dick insists quickly. They've spoken of this before, though Lew was never quite this sober when they did. He looks at Dick without the haze of alcohol, and he looks like he wishes Dick's words were true to his ears. 

"I only came here to prove that I'm not him." 

"You've proven more than that. You're a good man, Lew, and a good soldier. Better than most of the officers in this regiment." 

He's sure Lew is blushing, and he can feel his cheeks heating up too so he occupies himself with the loose thread again. They can hear the men chatting quietly around then, lost in their conversations- happy to be distracted from the nightmare their afternoon transpired to be. 

Lew finally smiles. It's one he shows rarely where he cheeks dimple and his teeth flash in the dark. He quickly covers his mouth with his hand, replacing the cigarette. 

"If any of those men where half the man you are Dick, I'd be a private." Lew mutters. "I may be good, but you're a great man." 

Dick suppresses his smile and drops his gaze. "That bullet really shook your brain, huh?" 

"Yeah." Lew's laugh releases a puff of smoke. He raises his hand to his forehead and taps it with his cigarette clutching fingers. 

"Must've knocked some more marbles loose. They'll be back in place by tomorrow." 

He doesn't realise he's moved until Lew's breath catches in his throat. Dick presses his fingers into the fringe of Lew's hair and runs his thumb over the mark. Lew is perfectly still for a moment, but then he relaxes and inclines his head against Dick's hand. 

"It's okay really, stings a little." Lew murmurs, then chuckles breathlessly. "Scared me, y'know." 

"Me too." Dick says in dismay, reluctantly drops his hand. 

"I thought I was a goner and then I heard your voice, and I realised I must still be alive." Lew takes a long drag from the cigarette. The tip burns bright for a second and lights up Lew's hooded eyelids and the angle of his nose. Dick waits quietly, comfortably listening to the voices around him and the scrap of Lew's boots by his hip as he adjusts his position, his knee digging into Dick's thigh. 

"I never thought I'd be so happy to be alive. I thought 'Dick's here, he's looking at me with that face'- I mean you looked so freaked, I was sure I must be a sight." He sighs a cloud of grey smoke that churns into the black sky and disappears. "But I haven't even gotta scar to show for it, can you believe that?" 

"Not really no." Dick mutters honestly, distracted by Lew's early words. 

Lew leers, "it's a shame really, all the dames love scars." Dick shakes his head in affectionate exasperation. They sit in silence again; Dick watching the stars and Lew smoking stolidly to the filter. 

"Would I look good with a scar?" Lew suddenly asks, examining the nub of his cigarette between his thumb and forefinger. 

Dick studies his face and tries to picture a variety of scars; on his lips, on his cheek, on his forehead. In every example it seems to ruin the softness that Dick... appreciates, about Lew's face. The whole time Lew avoids meeting his eye. 

He answers carefully, picking his words so as not to end up putting his foot in his mouth. "I think your face is perfectly good without a scar, Lew... and you do pretty well with the dames without any." 

Lew nods slowly, tapping the burnt filter against his knee. "But you think I look better?" 

"Sure I do." Dick says in bemusement. "Scars aren't that great, my dad has a scar on his arm from a piece of machinery he was fixing, and got caught on the blade. Ma can't stand the thing..." Dick can't help reaching out and touching the bruise again, and this time Lew doesn't tense. "Besides this'd be a pretty lame scar. You'd just look like you walked into a cabinet." 

Lew laughs in surprise and slaps Dick's knee, but his hand stays. Dick own laugh falls away, and his fingers drift from Lew's forehead to his cheek. 

The world is suddenly still and quieter, the voices around them are gone and the bloody horizon is rosier. Lew's eyes are trained on where his hand meets Dick's knee, and his thumb draws circles on the cotton. Everything feels closer somehow, and the distance between them is temptingly small to Dick. 

He gives himself a moment of reconsider- a moment, so later he can't make the excuse of impulsivity. Dick leans forward quickly and places his lips on Lew's softly, hesitantly. It's the kind of kiss that wouldn't wake a baby, but Lew draws in a breath likes he's been burnt. 

Dick keeps his eyes squeezed shut until he pulls an inch away from unmoved lips, and looks at Lew through the dark. He is staring, wide-eyed at Dick's lips, then he meets Dick's gaze. 

This time Lew moves in, tilting his head and capturing Dick's lips confidently. Relief comes in a cooling wave against a tide of heat as Lew grabs his jacket and brings him closer, and Dick pushes his tongue against Lew's yielding lips with a gasp. 

Lew kisses him hurriedly like they're running out of time, his hands grabbing at Dick's jacket to keep him close. Dick runs out of breath and forces Lew away with a hand on his jaw. He takes deep breaths with his forehead against Lew's temple. 

"Sorry." Lew gasps, fingers still curled into Dick's lapel. 

"There's nothing to be sorry for. I started it." He replies, rubbing his hand against Lew's neck. He presses another kiss to the swollen bottom lip, impossible to resist now he can have it. Those lips must be what Vat-69 is to Lew. 

"Okay." Lew smiles as he says it again, "okay." And seizes Dick's lips once again, kissing him deeply. A raised voice yards away makes Lew flinch and pull away, looking around for anyone. Dick bites at Lew's lip to distract him, and lays an apologetic chaste kiss over the bite when Lew gasps. 

"We should sleep." Dick announces, sitting back and dropping his hand from Lew's jaw with lingering fingers. Lew stares at him with a stunned expression and Dick smugly takes it in, along with his gorgeously tumescent lips that match the shade of his flushed cheeks. He's sure he looks just as debauched, his entire body is humming with excitement. 

It's the step Dick has been waiting to take for a while. Every moment they spent alone made Dick's skin itch, and he could hardly control his lingering gaze on the clueless man. But now, everything is clear of obfuscation and he can indulge in a long, affectionate stare. 

In a trance, Lew nods and settles back, folding his arms and returning to his original sleeping position. Dick holds back his smile and closes his eyes. 

Neither of them get much sleep.


End file.
